I’ve been thinking about writing on this topic for a little while. I’m not sure why really, it’s just been on my mind. So since I can’t seem to shake it, let’s get into it. 🙂
Suffering doesn’t have to be a negative topic. Please don’t read that as I am making light of adversity; I just mean there is another perspective. Yes, most of the time the perspective comes after the hardship, but the more I try to understand the value that can come from the suffering, the earlier I tend to see the growth and learning.
The bible has a lot to say about suffering; the verse I really like is “…suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope” (Romans 5:3-4) NLT
I realize we all deal with suffering and grief in different ways. But the promise of suffering is there is always light on the other side. That light is what we have to hold onto during the grief and pain; knowing we will come out the other side of the situation, albeit changed.
I do understand that not everyone thinks there will be a sliver lining. I don’t know why I do; maybe it’s just experience. Here is an old story as an example. Many years ago my husband (now ex, but unrelated to this) was let go from work. We struggled through almost two years of one income when we had a life style that needed at least two.
Everyday I would balance the checkbook and think “we are not going to make it to April”. Then when April came, it was “we are not going to make it to June”. Then one day, out of the blue, it hit me, “everyday, we make it”. We wake up the next day, get through it, and the next day we make it again. I was so busy in the middle of the storm that I could not see past it.
At that moment, my perspective on the situation shifted and I became positive, knowing the end of the struggle was coming. I didn’t know when or how, but I could just feel it was. I felt like we were finally on the backside of the storm. It was still many more months before he was able to get work again…but guess what? We made it.
Maybe that was the suffering that forever shifted my perspective. I’m not sure, but listen to this crazy and see for yourself.
Back in March I was scheduled for a right knee scope. However, when I woke up the doctor had performed a microfracture surgery. Yea, I didn’t know what it was either. A Microfracture surgery is an articular cartilage repair surgical technique that works by creating tiny fractures in the underlying bone. This causes new cartilage to develop from a so-called super-clot.
Anyway, I was not at all prepared for this surgery, which kept me out of work for two weeks. Ultimately, as a result I ended up with a broken 5th metatarsal on my right foot due to the extra pressure from my knee not operating effectively yet. We started with a boot, but had to move to a cast because it was not healing.
Now on crutches, I managed to fall and break my right wrist. I am not kidding. Right knee still not recovered, broken right foot, and now broken right wrist. Honestly it was ridiculous. I felt ridiculous! I finally decided it was time for short term leave from work in order to properly heal, and well, I couldn’t walk, drive, or type.
Then a couple days into my leave, the full-time project I was on at work was dissolved unexpectedly; I am still employed but without a job…and I’m not even there to be able to network so I can work on securing a new role! Just pile it on, right?
But actually, even though it all didn’t make sense, I knew in my heart there was a reason, a grand design. I won’t have an “ah ha” moment about the plan for while I’m sure but I know God is working all things for my good.
Coming out of this odd situation, I have had the good fortune to work with an excellent Physical Therapist who is helping recover my knee to even better than it was before surgery. And after not being able to walk for so long, my right ankle needs PT as well. Again, I’m working to get the flexibility back, but I expect it will be better than it was even before all of this.
One of my main insecurities is the way I walk. Perhaps this whole thing went down so I would meet this PT and learn how better to stretch and strengthen in order to improve my gate? Seems like that could be the plan, but I don’t really know. 🙂
But why did things at work go haywire? No idea on that one. So I’ll just have to trust.
I realize there is suffering in the world beyond anything I have shared or experienced, and this post is not an attempt to minimize anyone’s agony. This topic has just been on my mind, so I thought I would just share what I was feeling.
May I suggest, rather than get down on yourself when a storm arises, lean into God and ask for His help to understand why you are in whatever the situation is? Perhaps try to see how this time of suffering may help shape a stronger, wiser you in the future?
Easy to say, hard to do.
I hope it helps in some way. ❤